The Water Is Life.

[Subject is a quote from Chaucer’s Knight’s Tale…much better than the movie, I might add.]

So, in the absence of a full-time job, I’ve been spending my break driving myself cr–uh, I mean, at home.

My eyes were hurting the other day from the amount of time I’d spend staring at scholarship/employment/internship opportunities on the computer screen.  Incidentally, I’ve found out that the best scholarship criteria that I have that I haven’t used already are 1) being the grandchild of a Korean War veteran and 2) having an African-American congressman.  I kid you not.

Anyway, I’m trying to define the word “responsible” for myself.  Spending so much time off in Biola CMA/Torrey/general high-achiever land has somewhat warped my perspective on how much a college kid is expected to do.  I tell myself that I must be doing 59327 different activities per semester in order to have any kind of hope of a career, and that I need to somehow work on being marriage material along with being the perfect supportive friend and keeping my GPA up for my scholarship and holding three jobs for what my scholarship doesn’t cover.

Trusting God got lost in there somewhere with my sleep schedule.

That’s really what it is–a lack of trust.  Realizing my own tendency to be too easygoing and hope the details take care of themselves, I’ve swung to the other side of the pendulum and become a circumstances Nazi, telling God that even though I don’t know how, I’m going to work everything out.

Instead, I need to remember my good ol’ fall semester theologians: God has a plan, and he’s sticking to it.

Time to read the Psalms some more and find some balance.

Now listen, daughter, don’t miss a word
forget your country, put your home behind you.
Be here–the king is wild for you.
Since he’s your lord, adore him.

I’m taking these as my instructions for next semester, along with that wonderful Dallas Willard quote:

“Grace is not opposed to effort, but opposed to earning.”

Trackback URI | Comments RSS